The Chemist Chick with Helen Nichols
True stories from behind the Pharmacy counter
Angela vs Fathead
If you think one Chemist Chick is a lot to handle just wait until you hear two of them with duelling stories. Special guest – Marie joins Helen...
The Chemist Chick S01E13 Angela vs Fathead AI Transcript
[00:00:00] VO: Welcome to the chemist check with Helen Nicholas. True stories from behind the pharmacy counter.
Helen: Good morning potties. I'm here today with a very special guest. The lovely Marie. Now I worked with Marie for a little while. Maree's retired now from pharmacy and she's one of the best chemist checks I've ever worked with now, why did we call you the lovely Marie?
Maree: Well, Helen, there's a bit of a story there when that first became what you can do. When my boss said to me, look what we can do now with these TILs. And he typed something, this is look at that. And he says, that's under your name. And it says you have been served by fat head. Fat head. And I said, no, I'm not, no, I don't want to be fat head.
And he goes, oh, he thought it was a big fan, but then he didn't take it off. So for about three weeks it was there. And then I discovered it one day and one of the other girls too, they could look what you've done. And look at, you got written here is, oh God, let me have a look. I'll I'll I'll write something nice.
So he wrote in, you've been [00:01:00] served by the lovely Marie. Which stuck for the rest of my days that I was working at the pharmacy. I was known as the lovely. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you've always been the lovely
Helen: MERITO us. And, um, we know that, uh, oh, remember when we first met how you call me Angela looking Angela.
Sorry, I've walked away. I just had to get us another champagne business. Um, yeah. So, um, you call me Angela and I'd been there for about a week. You can get me a birthday card that said happy birthday, Angela. And, um, and then one day he go. Angela come in. I said, what? And you went, who's Helen. I said, I'm Helen.
You go, you fucking,
Maree: I remember, oh, we got off on the ride. We
Helen: just love at first sight for us. Was it really was. Um, yeah. Now I, okay. This is totally unscripted. This show today. I dunno what Maria is going to come out with. [00:02:00] I haven't even heard the story. She's going to tell us. I can't wait. Um, we might be the only two that that's her champagne glass.
You can eat clinking around. Um, we might be the only two that get a laugh out of this today. I don't care. It's so much fun when she's around, but I think you'll enjoy it now. Okay. Your first little story, which I haven't heard yet, that you're going to tell us about is the day the lady came in for lube.
And you thought it was a French fragrance. So I think we'll call this episode Luby Viton okay. Take it away. Marie. Well,
Maree: Helen was a Saturday afternoon and Saturday afternoons used to be quite Ms. Quad in the shop sometimes. And then I was mostly in the homie pet section, but this day I was up the front of the store, incomes, a lady, a girl, lady.
She was a little bit. The worst for wear, but that doesn't matter. She was, she was a customer. I'll give her all my attention. So he has, how can I help? So she wanted some shampoo and conditioner, right. We go to the shampoo and conditioner [00:03:00] and she picked something out and I said something else. And she suggested I would like a deodorant.
Now I want to Deandra. Which one do you reckon? No. Okay. So I said already added and she says now, and if you've got any lube and I thought luminaire, that sounds like a French perfume. I said, oh, we would have on shore, come with me. So we go to the French. And engage to the French when she comes up. And I said, now, would that be a French one?
And she says a French word. And I said, a French perfume, lube. And she goes, come on, blue, blue. She she's just one leg up in the air, starts pointing at a Fandango. He says, oh,
Helen: that reminds me of film. With the kids in our role playing, um, blanketed blanks one night, it was a blanket he brings or family feud or something on my TV. And my kids were all them grandkids, everyone. And they say, tell us something that is strawberry flavored. And I yell at out and all of the kids and the grandkids go, oh, trust [00:04:00] you.
I said, well, there is a strawberry flavor. What is the nightmare
Maree: room? Whatever, whatever
Helen: French leads, you're
VO: listening to the canvas chick with Helen nickels, true stories from behind the pharmacy
Helen: counter. Um, or like, what's your next story you wanna tell me about, okay. The tricks you played on Tom, when you had the roses delivered.
Maree: Instead of the one stage there. Um, there were two owners at the pharmacy anyway. Um, the one that liked to play tricks and I like to play tricks on him. Um, I decided to have, well, actually he bought someone a bunch of flowers and one of the customers who was a very good customer and there was another lady who wasn't such a good customer is a bit of a pest.
And she was in, she said, were my flowers, you know? So I, I know what I'll do. I'll start sending some to Tom. So I go to the, to the florist and I said, can you get one red rose? And write on it every time you do my script, my knees tremble. So she goes, okay, so they deliver [00:05:00] it to him. And I'm a bit away from that from the dispensary.
And I'll look at his face anyway. So he's talking and he's looking at, and the girls come over and they're all looking at it. And I went out and said what? They said, someone seen Tom Rouse. He doesn't know who it is. And they're wrecking their legs. They, their knees tremble when, when he does their script.
So, oh, it could be, this one could be that one. So. Well, that went well to the next day. I got another one anyway, so, oh, I can't wait to come in and have my scripts and done by you anyway. So it's like, oh, there's another one here. And one of the girls was in pretty well with him and he said, Hey, do you think this is just someone who's on the staff?
I guess now, if it was someone on the staff I'd know, don't worry. It's no one in the store. So after four days when he was terrified, he couldn't even his, I can't even look at people who hand me a script anymore. So anyway, so I called the other. Partner over in one morning. And I said, I want to tell you something and guess what?
And I said, oh no, who sent him the roses? And he said, who it really? Now I so know who it is. And he says, who? And I said to me, oh, she'd want a scheme. It's
[00:06:00] Helen: going to be saying good. It's going to be saying
Maree: good. All he was shattered. Well, I told him it was me. I need an academy award for that.
Helen: I thought until I met you, I thought I was the biggest shit.
You're my hero. I'm good for letting me hold on. Right? Where are we up to?
Maree: I'll have to play tricks on him. He liked to play tricks to who?
Helen: The Moss. Yeah. Yeah. There's nothing, but I've got some stories down the track to tell him stunts I'd put on girls, but boy, they got me back big time
Maree: or the cosmetic one
Helen: yet, but I was telling you that.
Yeah. Yeah. Um, so the cause a cosmetic promo you did yes. Um, about all. Getting in the box or something. What's that all about?
Maree: Well, there was a promo for one of the cosmetic companies in the store and they had the big box down the back with the wheels on it, where they bought it with the bright lights
Helen: in the closet, get
Maree: there, but it was empty.
Cause everything was set up down in the front. So black chest was, this was a grind. Oh, well doesn't it.
Helen: Fuck [00:07:00] cycle. Right.
Maree: Um, I'm down the back again. I'm in the shoe section. So, um, anyway, um, He's comes and he gets, listen, why don't we do, why don't we do something? And I said like, what he says, you can get in that, get in that chest. Cause it had wheels on it. You get in there and I'll close the lid and I'll push you up to the dispensary in front of the Spencer was a big store.
There were people waiting for their script and people sitting older people to sit in waiting. He said, no, I'll push you up there and I'll get one of the girls to come out. I'll tell the guests. So he put you in the box. He said, don't be long. Cause I don't like getting, you know, So we, we rumbled along anyway stops and I hear him say, oh, Lola, can you have a look in that box?
Make sure there's no stock in it, please. And he goes up behind the counter and she comes out and shit. And so we'll have a chat and said box. And of course I go, whoa,
Helen: people are jumping up. What's happening.
Maree: I suppose my father was a loss
in the bosses. [00:08:00] I had so much fun. I never had a die. I started working in pharmacy when I was 22, 74. The next day after I left, I never had one bad day. Every day, just laughing all they know.
Helen: Then we worked together because it was near your retirement. Probably a couple of years. No, it's similar five minutes.
It just went so fast. But when you were there, I used to, I couldn't wait to get into work because all I ever hear is you laughing all
Maree: over the shop. It's just a laugh. I never learned how to laugh
Helen: quietly. I love a bit in the most don't you ever hold it in, right? That you have a
Maree: child, definitely wine.
Helen: got another sewer. There's I'm hearing all these stories for the first time, guys. This is awesome. What's the one where the boss said your nose will grow till you
Maree: dying. Yeah. Oh, he's Jesus. It was charming, you know, but I did love him one day saying to me now I've got a big nose to start off with.
So system in now, you know, you know, it's just going to grow until you're [00:09:00] Dolly. You guys are going to keep on going until you die. I said, oh, nice. Stop it. Anyway, one of the other girls said, geez, you're so mean to Marie. Why are you always like that? This is because. I don't anybody else like a savings things anyway.
So one of the goes to GM, you're terrible. You know, why don't you do something nice for her? And he says, well, like what? And she said, well, she needs a new blouse for the store, you know? Um, there's one in the back room. It's her size. Give that to her. So it goes, oh, all right. Okay. So it goes and he gets it on us.
Hang on here. Yeah. Lies it, every time he gets look at this, what do you think of this? And I said, well, white players are new blessed. Who's that 40 sets for you? And I said, really? He said, yes, I'm sucked in really easily. You know? So I said, what size is it? And he says, I think it's your size. And I said, give it to me and I'll go on and try it on.
So I went behind the Elizabeth Arden candor, where there was a beauty room. So I went in there and I whipped off my all glass, put this one on, but I didn't do it up. And also, you know, Tom coming to have a look, I think it fits. So he comes in, I go like and he goes,
[00:10:00] what's going on? Cause I'm screaming. She's flashing. She's
Helen: what is it about chemist cheeks? The flash, their boots. Colby was one. You've done it. Oh, I've seen Christmas parties. Mariah, you bet. You're good at it. You know, you look pretty good, girl. I was going to say, I'm not going to knock
Maree: it. Always a fun, always Chico know that,
Helen: but, um, yeah, so.
Look, I think, um, that's good for today. Um, I'd love to have your back.
Helen: got it in front of you because I think we might get for lunch. Should I think we will. Um, thanks for coming in Darlan and um, yeah, it's been great. So, um, hope you all had fun with Marie. I've got to get her back because. Oh, oh, just a couple of we've got to I'll get it, brought up some more stories. Um, thanks for listening in potties.
Have an awesome day. Bye. The chemist chicken
VO: with [00:11:00] Helen Nichols, true stories from behind the pharmacy counter. You can subscribe to the podcast at apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, and where ever you hear great podcasts. This has been another quality podcast from flights.com.